His Hands that Held You

Another year. In memory of my beautiful one, so deeply missed in so many ways. Love you Jesika.

m'kayla's korner

 On April 27, 2002, our 19 year old daughter Jessica
was killed in an automobile accident.

The following story, His Hands that Held You, is a true account of a vision that I experienced shortly after her passing.  I am sharing this experience because I believe that we are living in a time of tragedy, none that America has experienced in quite a long time,  maybe never before.  We are shaken as we have experienced  this great country to not be the solid fortress we once thought. Sadly, we have lost our hope, our guide and now desperately long for something or someone to hold onto, to put our trust in.

The situations in this country and in the world will not get better.  The hatred and violence, the crimes against humanity will continue to grow in great proportions.  Because we are human and are given to doubt the things…

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12 thoughts on “His Hands that Held You

  1. As I celebrate my granddaughter, Nevada’s birthday (4/25) I always remember that two days after her birth, Art called me to tell me about Jessica. My heart broke for you as I celebrated life and you had begun the long journey of grieving the loss of your baby! Does time heal? in some ways ….. but it can never take away the empty place where Jessica should be …. all the things missed. Your strength, your hope, your faith, your willingness to share the weak times knowing that His power is made perfect during those times, your walk out of darkness has been something many have watched and remembered in their times of loss. I love you, sister ….. and I’m praying for you!


  2. When a mother opens her heart, even if pain issues forth, when it is pain filtered through God’s grace it becomes a blessing. I am blessed to have listened to these words from your heart. Thank you for sharing your grace-filled pain with us M’kayala.

    There is a line in the movie “The Fellowship of the Ring” where Theoden, king of Rohan stood over the place of his son’s burial, he speaks these words to Gandalf who is reminding him that he will see his son again, he says simply “no parent should have to bury their own child”. Tolkien so often seemed to have a sense of what was, but should not be. Of the balance between absolute truth and present reality.

    That God’s grace is sufficient for us is not a namby pamby statement. It is sufficient against great adversity, it is sufficient in great loss, and it is sufficient in the absence of a world where God’s sovereign will is yet to be fully realized. It with joy that I read that it is so clearly sufficient for you.



  3. Hi M’Kayla.

    I am noticing the beginnings of a pattern with the prophetic movement when the initial anointing comes on the leader. Bill Johnson talks about being woken up at 3:00 am, unable to control his body. Heidi Baker had an experience where she had to be taken back to her hotel, unable to move. She is able to take a pee at 3:00 am or so, get back to bed, where she is once again immobilized. My wife attended Stacey Campbell’s church for several years, and heard her testimony about flailing uncontrollably in bed while Wes remained asleep. She also had an anointing come on her on stage one service where her limbs all started “marching” while she lay prone on her back on the floor.

    I am looking for evidence of any other leaders in the movement that had similar experiences when they first receive their “anointing”. Can you affirm this at all, or give me any other examples?

    Thanks M’kayla. May God’s grace continue to strengthen you in all you do.


    • Charismania is full of these types of events. I know it happened quite often when I was involved. They are counted as signs or confirmations that the experiences are from God, which they are not.


      • I do understand that, and those evidences are easy to find. I’m looking for more significant ones that occur with the leaders especially early in their “ministry”. There seems to be a pattern of occurring late at night, with either immobilization or severe lack of control. In my opinion, there is a lot of correlation between this and alien abduction phenomenon.

        I’m looking for testimonies from the leaders themselves of stories like this. Do you know of any specific stories in that direction from the leaders, or am I off target?


  4. I apologise if my entry was insensitive considering the topic of the post. I was simply looking for a way to communicate with you, and picked the most recent entry without reading it.

    As a father of four, I pray for comfort for you from our Father on this tragic anniversary. Praise God our hope rests not in this life, and that you will hold each other again one day! May Father use this painful event to bring hope and comfort to others who have lost a son or daughter.


  5. Praise God for you. I would love to talk to you about your ministry. I need to help in any way possible. I had a dream like Joseph and I didnt understand it but God showed me. I would like to explain privately.


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