Death and Hot Fudge

Today I learned that a friend of mine lost her son. There was no warning or previous illness; his death was as unexpected and shocking as most deaths.

I was reminded of a moment long ago and a dear friend who, within a short time after learning of my daughter’s death, was at my house within a short time. It was still early that day when she came to my side as cancer was eating her body. Her own needs aside, she came without breakfast with a special love and kindness as we retreated to my kitchen to make juice together.

Some days later, she called to asked me out for a hot fudge sundae. After all, ice cream and chocolate, especially hot fudge, cures just about anything, at least momentarily. But I was proud, and I was distant. I told her I would probably throw it up, and that all I wanted to do was to scream and cry. With laughter, she again offered and to join me as a participant in all three of my concerns. But I would not go. I could not.

Later that same year, I lost my friend to cancer.

So in remanence, I long for a do-over moment with her, that one rare moment to share laughter and tears with someone who loved me. After all, what’s a little barfed hot fudge between the best of friends?

2 thoughts on “Death and Hot Fudge

  1. My grandfather was from Ireland, died in 1957. but i still remember him saying that: “we grow too soon old and too late smart” (with an Irish brogue, of course). this is the way of things, even in the lives of Christians. James was dying by the sword while Peter was being busted out of prison by angels. i imagine that many members of James family has some “wish I had(s)”. I recently lost my bride of fifty years. We were the best of friends for that entire time. Yet, still, i have a couple of “wish I had(s). Nothing big, but there none the less.

    As people of flesh, we just cannot escape that reality. But as mkayla appears to grasp, we cannot fix “wish i had(s) but we can continue the importance to our growth by our understanding of the work of Calvary, the need of Calvary and how our resultant walk with our God can best minimize the number of “wish I had(s) to look back on.


    • These are poignant testimonies. Thank you for sharing, and may God bless you.
      I am seeking to send Mkayla something I wrote please. I would appreciate feedback from my fellow Christians as I have been isolated by my community.
      My piece is about carrying one’s cross and some ideas about how to do this (using one’s God given spiritual talent(s).)
      Please consider emailing me Mkayla?
      I appreciate your views re ‘inner healing’ techniques. I am just a plain Christian too, and for that reason was put out of my local church, and shunned by the national church body.
      May our Lord Jesus Christ continue in our lives to receive all honour, despite our frailties and troubles.
      It was brave and kind of you to share your experience in the grief cycle. Clearly, you do not seek sympathy. Jesus was like that too


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